All page references and quotes are from The Shack, by William P Young (paperback edition (May, 2008)  This represents my paraphrase of various subjects of interest to me found in the book.  This is not a commentary or an explanation, it is simply my thoughts expressed in agreement with the author.

On pain and tragedies (page 92, 93, 96…)

Pain is emotional not intellectual. There is no easy way to heal pain especially pain from deep hurts. God chooses not to wave a magic wand to take our pain away. It takes “a bit of time and a lot of relationship.” Relationship is the key to healing pain. The more the tighter we are with God the less pain hurts us. I don’t suppose pain ever goes away it begins to take a back seat to relationship in love and grace and then it hurts less and less. Maybe that is why we have scars where pain once was.

Sometimes we need to get the intellectual things out of the way first and then the heart stuff is easier to work on. God is in no hurry for us to begin the work. When we are ready, he is willing. He is always there and always ready. With such love and compassion directed toward us, we are moved in His direction.

Sometimes our pain is so huge it blocks our view of God. It pushes God out of the way so we don’t feel his presence or see him working in our world. “When all you can see is your pain, perhaps then you lose sight of me.” (page 96)

Consider the bird. The freedom to fly. The beauty of flight. Birds were created to fly. “Pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly.” Then, in time, we forget that we were ever created to fly.

God can work incredible good out of horrible traumatic events, but that doesn’t mean He orchestrates the tragedies. The fact that God uses events does not mean that he causes it or needs it to accomplish his purposes. Grace does not depend on suffering to exist, but where there is tragedy, you will find multiple facets of grace. (page 185)

God’s purposes for our lives are not for his comfort or for ours. God’s purposes “are always and only an expression of love.” To bring life out of death, freedom out of being broken, and turn darkness into light; those are the purposes of God. God’s purpose had to unfold even when it hurt Jesus Christ. (page 191)

On who God is (or is not)… (page 82…)

God is not who we think he is. Is God a male? Not in the human sense (which is, by the way, the only way we can relate to things). Is God a female, say, for instance, a large African American woman? Again, in the human sense or in our frame of reference God is not a man or a woman, in fact God may be both or something beyond our limited comprehension. This we do know, God is neither male nor female. So why wouldn’t God take on a form that we can relate too? Did God not take on a human form we can relate to when Jesus came to earth? We must consider the world’s frame of reference at the time Jesus came and ask if a woman Messiah would have related to humanity at that time. Personally, I doubt it. Could the Messiah have been a woman and died on the cross for our sins? I think so.

I think The Shack taught me that my concepts of God have been male and white. Perhaps olive skinned like maybe Jesus was, but mainly a white male God. I guess I never pictured God as an old man though. For what Mac needed at the time was just what God gave him. How like God. He or she comes to us with what we need just when we need it.

I think it is not so much that God is a male or a female, but comes to us with the nurture, love and discipline that we need at the time. Sometimes that can feel like a love of Nanny and at other times it can feel like a stern father or grandfather. Then there are times we need a friend we can lean on and talk to man to man or woman to woman. Does not God fill all those “roles” with us? Put God in the flesh and he is many manifestations just like we see in The Shack.

When God did enter into our realm by becoming human that meant there had to be limitations. Just as it is a bird’s nature to fly, it could limit itself to walking. But that would not change its nature as it is still a bird. The bird’s experience of life is altered however. The key here is that this bird can fly at any moment as it never lost its ability to fly. God became a man and accepted the limitations but never lost the ability to be fully God at any moment. (page 99) More on Jesus later.

On relationships (page 100 to start)

Jesus modeled relationship with God for us. Jesus was fully human and thus limited his power. He allowed God to work through him and within him. When we look at Jesus, we see God. We are created to live our lives in dependence on the power of God within us and through us; God’s life in us or living out God’s life in our life. Humans are defined by God’s intentions for us which is defined by being created in God’s image.

Because God is in relationship with the so called three-in-one, we can know what relationship is supposed to be although limited greatly by our human understanding. Love and relationship is only possible because God is in love and relationship. (page 101)

“Relationships are never about power…” (page 106) To avoid seeking power we can choose to limit ourselves by serving.

We humans tend to think that relationships have to have a hierarchy or chain of command. But then to maintain, protect and administer it we have to have law (rules) and enforcement of the rules which deteriorates relationship or even destroys it. I can not have an open and free relationship with my superior in a chain of command system. To have truly fulfilling relationship we are peers, equal with no rules binding our relationship. To put it bluntly, I have a poor relationship with my boss and an extraordinary one with my wife. There is a wonder in true relationships that hierarchy limits or destroys. The point here is that God is not a chain of command like Father, Son and Holy Spirit. (page 123)

On Independence (page 123 to start)

We humans tend to choose independence. To me, this is the heart of the human problem. It is sin, it is the cause of sinful behavior, it is our downfall, it is the core of the fall, it is the foundational problem of our relationship to God.

We often choose independence over relationship and then manipulation and or management becomes the norm. Authority becomes the tool to force others to conform to our wishes.

There are systems that spring out of independence. Political, social, economic, religious systems to name a few of the main ones. The value of the individual (independence) is weighed against the system. Which is more important, the individual or the system? In reality, the system wins out and the individual is sacrificed. Every struggle for power, every abuse is rooted in the survival of the system.

Religion, politics and economics are a human created “trinity of terrors that ravages the earth” and deceives the people God cares about. Think about the mental turmoil and anxiety we face. Is it not related to the trinity? They are tools that we use to prop up our illusions of security and control. We are afraid of uncertainty and the future. These institutions and ideologies are human effort to give us a sense of certainty and security where there is none. Systems cannot provide security, only God can. (page 179 - 180)

To be in relationship without the limits and negatives of structure is what we were created for. We can learn to believe that our needs are equally significant to the needs of others. That way, we do not become self centered nor neglectful of ourselves. Jesus stated it this way, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Relationship has to consider the male and female. Are there roles for the man and other roles for the woman? Is relationship here based on roles or is that a social system? It seems God desires male and female to be “counterparts, face to face equals, each unique and different, distinctive in gender but complementary, and each empowered” by the Holy Spirit . (page 148)

On rights (page 137)

Independence leads to a declaration of rights. We think we have certain rights. In relationships when we claim our rights it torpedoes a relationship. Whenever one of my rights is stepped on, I react in anger. To the degree I expect people to recognize and obey my rights; I experience anger when those rights are violated.

On living in the present (page141)

We were designed by God to live in the present (not the past or the future). But where do we spend most of our time? Some of us live in the past with regrets, grief, anger, and the like. Some of us live in the future with worry, fear and anxiety. Jesus lives in us in the present. Jesus is present tense. We learn valuable lessons by a review of the past but it is a place to visit not to live. Visiting the future can lead to good planning in the present. Fear is not rational; it is perceived dangers from our imagination of the future. Fear replaces the peace we have in Jesus. We can then neither believe he is good nor feel in our hearts his love for us. Perfect love casts out fear.

On being a follower of Jesus (page 149)

Being a follower of Jesus does not mean trying to be like him as an “example to copy.” It means our independence is killed. Jesus came to give us life, true life, his life. When Jesus is living in us we begin to see with God’s eyes, hear with God’s ears, touch with God’s hands. This is union and relationship without independence. There is never a force or pushing from God, we have choice. We can choose independence for a season and come back to him.

People who love Jesus come from every system created by humans. There are Democrats, Republicans, Protestants, Catholics, even Muslims and Buddhists, and others. Followers of Jesus come from every ideology and system we have. Jesus has no desire to make them Christians, but to transform them into sons and daughters of God and into His beloved people. (page 182)

This does not mean that all roads lead to God. What it does mean is that God will travel all roads to find us. We are followers found by God. (page 182)

On Judging and Rules (chapter 11, page 159 +)

“Judging requires that you think yourself superior over the one you judge.”

There is a chain of human brokenness that we can trace back to from our original deep hurt. For example, a person does a despicable act upon me or a loved one. I hate that person and want to judge them. I may wish they were dead or even that I could pull the trigger to kill them. But what about the evil person’s father who twisted them into an evil person, or their parents? How far back do we go? We can trace the blame all the way back to Adam. Then we come face to face with God who started all this in the first place. Are we ready to judge God? Is God to blame?

Did God fail us? God had the power to stop the despicable act, but He chose not to stop it. Isn’t He to blame? We can’t trust him, can we? God knew the act would happen someday to you and He still created allowing history to progress.

God knows every person deeply and clearly; every thought and every intention. He loves them deeply. It is not easy for God to judge (condemn) those He loves. So Jesus volunteered to take the punishment that we all deserve and provided us a way to be saved from condemnation. Those that we know and care about, we would never condemn to eternal punishment. But those who hurt us or hurt others, we would send them to hell if we could. At that moment we have declared in our hearts that we are superior to them.

Evil things happen in this world because we human chose to embrace evil. It was never in God’s plan to have evil to accomplish his good purposes. God does not need evil for any reason. Yet He responds to our choice of evil with His goodness. There is evil in our world and no one is immune to it.

When we stop being a judge and abandon our independence, we can see clearly to embrace the love of God in the midst of our pain.

When we blame ourselves for the tragedy of what happened to our loved one, we embrace a lie. Our love for them would never permit us to allow harm to come to them. Even if we could have stopped it, they would not blame us and neither does God. Perhaps it is time to let go of the blame and the lie.

“Judgment is not about destruction, but about setting things right.”

On Rules: There is no mercy or grace in rules because they do not allow for even one mistake. Jesus fulfilled all of the law for us and now it has no jurisdiction over us. “Rules cannot bring freedom; they only have the power to accuse.” (page 202 - 203)

On Our Fears (page 174 - 177)

Shame and blame which comes out of our independence produces huge and terrifying thoughts that we hang on to. Those fears produce darkness inside us and the darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets. They seem much bigger in the darkness. When the light shines into our dark souls, we see them for what they are. We keep them inside and in the dark because we believe it is safer in there. Sometimes, as children, it is safer to keep them inside. We grow up on the outside, but inside we are still a child surrounded by monsters and we keep adding to our collection. We collect things we value.

As we embrace God’s loved and learn to live loved, we begin to shine the light into the dark places and see how small and harmless the monsters really are.

On The Church (page 178)

The church that we see and participate in here is a man-made institution, a system designed by humans. Jesus did not come to build a system or an institution. God sees people and their lives in a living breathing community of all those who love him. There are no buildings and programs in that church. God’s church is built around relationships, people and life. Humans can’t build it, not even come close. It is Jesus’ job to build it and he is pretty good at it.

God’s church does not consist of exhausting work and a list of demands and sitting in endless meetings with people we barely know. His church is not an institution; it is sharing life in loving relationships.

“Religious machinery can chew up people.” Many things that are done in the name of Jesus have nothing to do with Jesus and even if it is unintentional, it is still contrary to his purposes. Jesus did not create institutions.

On Lies (page 187)

We tend to tell ourselves lies about tragic events and deep hurts then we hide inside those lives for what we call protection. We feel almost comfortable inside the lies, at least it is familiar ground and somewhat safe. Lies are one of the easiest places for survivors to run. It is part of survival, but it is nevertheless a dark place.

The question for us is “are you willing to give up the power and safety it promises you?” Lies are a little fortress from where we try to run our life and manipulate others. “But the fortress needs walls, so you build some. These are the justifications for your lies. You know, like you are doing this to protect someone you love, to keep them from feeling pain. Whatever works, just so you feel okay about the lies.” (page 187)

On Emotions (page 196)

“Emotions are the colors of the soul; they are spectacular and incredible. When you don’t feel, the world becomes dull and colorless…”

On Expectancy vs. Expectation (page 205 - 206)

Using the example of friendship, we realize that there is an expectancy within the relationship. When we are together with our friend, we expect to talk and laugh and enjoy being together. That expectancy has no concrete definition because it is alive and dynamic. It is unique to us and our relationship. But what happens when we change “expectancy” to “expectation”? Now, law is introduced into the equation. You are expected to meet certain concrete standards. The living relationship dynamics change to rules and requirements and now there are attendant responsibilities to being a friend.

“Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment…” That produces the framework for performance based living. We find our identity and value in how we perform. The feeling of not living up to someone’s expectations is an awful feeling. Expectations are a means of attempting to control behavior to get a desired outcome. When you know the future and the outcome, as God does, there is no need for expectations or the control. God can have no expectations beyond what he already knows and he knows everything about us.

We live in fear when we live in expectations and responsibilities. Are we good enough to measure up? The answer is always, “no, we are not good enough.” That kind of living also negates trusting God.

On Forgiveness (page 224 – 227)

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person’s throat.”

“Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver…to release you from something that will eat you alive; that will destroy your joy and your ability to love full and openly.” Why do we think that those who hurt us cares about the pain and torment we have gone through? If anything, it feeds the evil within them to know how they continue to hurt us.

“Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible.” Forgiving someone releases them from judgment, but without true change there can be no relationship.

Forgiveness does not mean we have to pretend their hurtful behavior never happened. Eventually we can love them in spite of it. Reconciliation can only happen when they acknowledge the truth, confess and change their behavior. Then you will find because you have already forgiven them there can be a miracle of reconciliation in your heart based on trust. (I would call this the graduate school level of forgiveness.)

How about feeling angry? Can you still be angry after having forgiven them? Certainly you can. What the person did was wrong and hurt people, maybe many people. Anger is the right response to an action that is so wrong. Not letting the anger prevent us from forgiving is the key, however. That is when you remove your hands from around their neck.