Grief is Normal: Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss of any kind. A loss due to death or divorce or the break-up of a romantic relationship are perhaps the most common. There are about forty losses one can experience in a lifetime. Each loss produces grief and the deeper the loss the deeper the grief.

Grief is Unique: No two individuals experience grief in the same way, even in the same family. The grief response is unique to each individual. There are a variety of emotions that are often affected by many factors such as:

• The circumstances surrounding the death
• Your health, age, sex and family circumstances
• What you think others expect of you
• How close the relationship was to you
• Your prior losses
• The support you have near you
• Religious and cultural beliefs

Grief affects people in different and various ways. For some it becomes difficult to concentrate on a simple task. For others, there is a wide swing and range of emotions. It is important to never compare losses or pain to that of others. There are no rules or stages or expectations about grief. Grieve in your own way and in your own time.

Grief is a Process: “Grief is a process—not an event.” Grief is a process and it is usually not orderly or predictable. A common question is “How long will it last?” No matter how deep the pain is, we want it over fast. However, grief takes time and there is no quick fix or a timetable. You will never get over the sad emotions of a significant loss, but you can learn to manage your grief in a healthy way and be able to get back on track with your life. The intensity of your emotions will lessen with time, but waves of sadness will often ambush you even years later.

Be patient with yourself. You can’t rush the grieving process. It takes energy to heal and you may not have the energy to “get back on track” for awhile. Be willing to say, “no” to activities and invitations taking “one day at a time.” You can be happy again just as you will be sad again.

Source of these thoughts is “Hospice Bereavement Newsletter”, Vol 1, V.N.A. Hospice, Omaha, NE