The Bereavement Process - Grief, by Mark Teats

1. We realize we have no control over death. We begin to emotionally accept our loved one’s death.
2. We experience the pain of facing the death of our loved one. We know and feel the deep sadness and depression of grief. The degree we feel it depends on each person. There are no absolutes, stages or degrees here.
3. We accept and express our feelings. They range from hurt to depression. Some grievers feel anger. Again there are no stages, absolutes or degrees here. In fact, this process has no orderly progression as our feelings are generally all over the place.
4. We begin to learn about grief. It is emotional and you can’t fix a broken heart with the head.
5. We learn that we need to tell our story over and over again. It is important. We need to find a heart with ears person to listen to us. We do not need to be fixed, analyzed, or judged. We need to be listened to with dignity and respect.
6. There are some important factors in the grief recovery process:
   
   • Support
   • Exercise to your level of need
   • Rest and sleep
   • Eat right and regularly
   • Drink plenty of water
7. Do not put a time limit on your grief. There are no absolutes about grief. There are no stages either. Give yourself time and do not compare your grief or loss or pain with anyone else. What you feel at the moment is normal for you.
8. Remember your loved one. Speak of them often by name and share your memories often with others. Talk to them as if they were still with you (we all talk to the dead).
9. Learn to live a new life. The old is gone and you can’t bring it back. There is a whole universe out there waiting for you to discover it. You have transitioned from a relationship that was with the person physically and no the relationship is emotional, but the relationship continues.
10. Concentrate on your strengths not your problems. Problems change from day to day. Strengths become a map for your future because they remain the same.
11. Give other grievers the gift of hope that you have found. Tell others what has helped you and help them as you were helped. In all of this process do not forget your spiritual roots. We are spiritual people, let God guide you and comfort you.