Forgiveness is essential to recovery from grief. Grief is emotional and we will not be able to heal a broken heart with the head. Forgiveness is emotional as well. When we harbor unforgiveness in our spirits, we can not move on in life and our recovery from grief will not be complete.

Forgiveness is giving up the resentment. It is giving up our right to revenge. There are monsters disguised as human beings and they hurt people more deeply than words can describe. Sexual abuse, Satanic ritual abuse, physical and mental abuse are all extremely and deeply hurtful. Traumatic may not even describe how we feel. Our hearts have been ripped out and we are left as a victim. How can we ever even consider forgiveness for such acts?

You have heard the expression, “How do you eat an elephant?” You know the answer is “one bite at a time.” That concept is a vital principle of forgiveness. Start out by forgiving someone of a much lesser offence. When you can forgive someone for something, it becomes easier for you to forgive someone else for a little more hurtful event. The process continues until you can forgive the monstrous acts done to you.

Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. You give yourself the gift of freedom. Each time you can forgive someone it is like taking a rock out of the backpack you are wearing. Some of those rocks are fairly small and others are huge. Start with the small ones first and move to the next larger ones.

Clinical studies have been done to back up what I am saying here. In fact, it was those studies that caused me to write about this principle. Dr. Fred Luskin was the director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project at Stanford University. His studies found that when people develop an ability to forgive they become more forgiving in a broader sense. In other words, start out small and you will find it easier to move to the deeper hurts.